Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

Okay so this my first Valentine's day by myself, since me and Jeremy got Married. It's some-what sad. I remember feeling this way around Christmas time, just a few months ago. About a month before Christmas, it really hit me. What would it be like waking up Christmas morning, just me and the boys. I would be happy yet lonely. I prayed to God, that I wouldn't be lonely, that I would have someone to spend that time with. He answered my prayers, and my parents offered to send Shelby. It was great having her here. On Christmas morning she was the one to wake me up, and get stuff going. She was just as excited as the kids.

But as for today, I do feel some-what empty. I know that I have Jess, and she is great and a wonderful friend, and I'm glad we have each other to lean on, so for that I am thankful. I just really hope that this time apart is still good, even if he isn't here.

Now for those of you wondering... Our plans haven't changed, as far as moving. We are still moving around the May-June time frame. A few days ago I wasn't sure if Jeremy was going to change his plans, but now he's not going to. It's so funny... I really want time to fly, so I can see him again, but yet I don't, because I feel like this move is coming up so fast, and I feel so rushed, and I almost wish I could stay longer. I feel like Haru in "The Cat Returns" (for those of you who haven't seen this movie, well you should), when she is free falling, and Baron tells her to open her eyes, but she says "I can't I'm too scared!" That is how I feel right now. I know the ground is coming, but I'm to scared to open my eyes and do something about it.

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